Funerals can be such incredibly sad
events, and rightly so for farewells
are never easy, especially final ones.
But the deceased doesn’t benefit,
only the mourners do and it is
for them that the events are held.
When my time comes, if my family
chooses to have one, and I will have
no say in the matter so don’t ask,
I do have a couple of simple requests.
I do not want it somber, for anyone
who knows me knows I will go
to almost any length for a laugh.
And I was never one for eulogies, so
if anyone wants to speak to my life
I request that they first take
I deep inhalation from the tank
of helium by the lectern and only
then say what they have to say,
but I promise I’ll try not to laugh.