ARRIVAL

The lake arrives each morning, just before she opens her eyes.  She’s tried to catch it, getting up earlier or later but it was just lapping the shore outside her window each time she first gazed at it.  Once she tried to stay up all night, and it clung to the shore despite its desire to slip away, but she was certain it did when her eyes fell closed a little after 3 a.m.  She got up at the usual time, and it slid in just ahead of her.  All that day it seemed quieter, almost restive, as if, like her, lacking the energy that curtailed sleep might have provided.

She remembered her grandmother saying that only once in her years along the lake did she ever catch it just coming in around the point.  That was a magical day, never repeated, but it bound grandmother to the lake in a way few could understand.  She kept asking her grandma to tell the story again, but like that day, she’d just tell it once and only smile when asked to repeat it.  She never asked anyone else — she learned as a child of the scorn she would face if she did.  She given up Santa and the tooth fairy, but this was real, she could touch it or even take it home in cups or buckets, though she smiled, it always slipped away sooner or later.

She knew from the doctor’s face the chemo hadn’t worked.  She could feel it failing even as they pumped into her.  It was okay, she wanted to tell him, but it wasn’t and they both knew it.  They tried, won some battles, lost others, but in the end they both knew who would win that war.

This morning the lake never arrived, never touch the shore and the house was shrouded in silence.

In memory of Jodyann Faber, April 29, 1958 – Ocotober 23, 2004

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s