What I despise most 
about purchasing large 
dollar items is the fact
that salesmen know only
how to speak 
in superlatives, or
caught short,
comparatives.

If it isn’t the best
they will explain
why it is, or 
at least better
than anything 
I have now,
although they have
no idea what I have.

So I pretend 
to be deaf, 
and hope that they
do not know ASL,
or the will see
a miracle happen
as my hearing is
suddenly restored.