an old writer and his words

  • THE VEIL OF TIME

    I still search for you behind the veilof time; I cannot look away.I wonder what you saw that night,what you felt in that unexpected,unwanted moment you couldn’t escape.I know I am struggling to reach intoa world I do not yet wish to enter,but all I recall are your eyes, notas they were that night but…

    Lou Faber

  • A PAUSE

    Now just stop and imagineif one event in your youth had gonein a wholly different direction,where would you be today?Follow this alternative universebounded only by imaginationand such amount of logic as you choose,and create the framework of a lifethat never existed until that moment.If you wish, pick another event,and another until you havea cosmos of…

    Lou Faber

  • QUANDRY

    There is an excellent reason that zazenis a largely silent practice.It is said you must be in the momentbut there is no other possible momentyou can be in at any given moment.If you think about being in the momentthe moment is lost to your thoughtsso you were never really in that moment.So perhaps you can…

    Lou Faber

  • HOMEGROWN

    He only wanted to know if there wereplaces I had always wantedto visit but never gone, and didI still plan on going there.I could have asked “why that question”but he was someone who never traveled,was born, bred and would likely diein this city, content that it hadeverything of value that the worldcould possibly offer such…

    Lou Faber

  • STILL MOURNING

    I think about you often, lying besidemy grandparents on the hillsideoverlooking the Kanawha River,bathed in the utter silencethat only the dead can clearly hear.I think of you more often than shewho replaced you, she who laterreplaced me with her own, Ian adjacency, still useful butno longer fully or truly valued.I think of you lovingly, knowingfor…

    Lou Faber

  • A MOMENT

    A night of broken dreams,a day of trembling handsminutes of knocking kneeswearing a path into an alreadyaging and worn wooden deck.A moment of sight,a moment when time stoppedand words failed, paralyzedby fear, by beauty, by a smile.A meal prattling on, tryingto see signs, not knowing whatthose signs might be.Twenty-three years of a joyI hadn’t known…

    Lou Faber

  • YANTOU’S SIT STILL

    When sitting on the zafuif you try not to thinkyou are thinking.If you sit and breathein the silenceeverything will appearbefore you andin that momentyou will see nothing. A reflection on case 75 of the Shobogenzo, Dogen’s True Dharma Eye 正法眼蔵

    Lou Faber

  • SOZAN’S REQUITED FILIAL PIETY

    When you set out on the pathleaving so much behind,will you continue to graspwhat you have lost or lookonly at what you havein this moment and this?If you cling to whatyou have willinglygiven up you will beforever lost in mourningwhat no longer isand frozen, unable to proceed. A reflection on Case 73 of The Book…

    Lou Faber

  • STILL MOURNING

    I think about you often, lying besidemy grandparents on the hillsideoverlooking the Kanawha River,bathed in the utter silencethat only the dead can clearly hear.I think of you more often than shewho replaced you, she who laterreplaced me with her own, Ian adjacency, still useful butno longer fully or truly valued.I think of you lovingly, knowingfor…

    Lou Faber

  • SAD MONOLOGUE

    It is a truly sad momentwhen you first come to realizethat the inner dialog you thoughtyou were having with your psychehas been little more than a monologue,the ramblings of the court jester,or worse, the fool, your psychehaving grown deaf to your complaints,your incessant worries, or worse still,the ever growing fears you bring uponboth of you,…

    Lou Faber