• THE FROG

    I can still smell the formaldahyde,see the frog pithed to the boardas I went about dissecting it,taking copious notes on whatI found, identifying organs,both of us hidden in a cornerof our fourth grade classroomso the other students didn’tfeel like they had to vomit. This Yom Kippur, even thoughI no longer practice the faithof my youth…


  • INSTRUCTIONS TO MY ENGLISH LIT CLASS

    First, read the syllabusand buy the books we will read.Note that I have carefully selectedworks for which there are no Cliff Notesor their equivalent, so if you werecounting on that consider yourself screwed. When you write an essay, do not ever,let me emphasize EVER, begin by sayingin my opinion, for if I wantedan opinion on…


  • AND NEXT

    Music was so much simplerwhen I was younger, or so it seemed,artists came and went but wealways knew who was who,and when a group broke upyou’d almost hold your breathuntil a new group was formedby the lead singer or songwriter. We missed the Zombies, butRod knew where his silver was mintedand Argent came along quickly.…


  • WHEN WE STOPPED

    It was probably that momentjust after we sat downat our new, huge or sothey seemed, desksand the large personin the front of the roomsmiled at us and said“I will teach you allthat you need to learnthis year so pay attention.” Perhaps we stoppedthinking the year beforeduring kindergarten,but I do think the firstday of first gradetruly…


  • NESSLESS

    There are no monstersin this lake I tellmy granddaughter, answeringher unasked question.There are bears in the woodsaround here and thereused to be an owl which madean afternoon visit.There are deer, certainlyand there could be a coyoteor two. If you don’tbelieve me, ask the crows,everyone knows that theycan never keep a secret. First published in From…


  • COSMOS

    As a child he decided,after watching Cosmos,that he wanted to be an astronomer. He was six, we boughta large telescope and I was assignedthe job of aiming itaccording to his directions. After a while he didhave a mment of panic, wonderingwhat he would doduring the day. That soon passedwhen he discovered the radio telescopeand time…


  • THE LETTER

    Today I should receive the letterthat I sent to myself twenty years ago,telling me what I should be, where Ishould be, who I should be, for the meof twenty years ago was, by his ownadmission, far smarter than I am, althoughI am here and he is nowhere to be found. If the letter does not…


  • SUDDENLY MORTAL

    I now struggle to remember just whenmy childhood suddenly ended, whenI became mortal, and the childhood fearswere replaced by those of the real world. It might have been watching the news,the planes at Dover disgorging coffinafter coffin, each neatly flag draped untilthe flag became a symbol only of death. It might have been the first…


  • A PAINFUL REMINDER

    I had it good, I had it easy, I would be the first to admit it, to save you the trouble of reminding me, more by way of illustrating how badly you had it. I’ll concede you had it rough,  money always  tight, but you  never were, never would be a Jewboy although you  and…


  • CARNEY BARKER

    You there, walking along the midway come into my tent, for only a dollar I will show you wonders beyond your meager comprehension but this offer is only good for the next fifteen minutes for that is when I start my show, It’s not something you want to miss. I know you’ve seen quarters pulled…