an old writer and his words

  • TOKUSAN’S COMPLETION OF STUDY

    Why do you struggleto not think, for not thinkingis the essence of thought.You cannot attainemptiness justas an open cylindercannot contain water.Just sit, just be,no words, no thought. A reflection on case 46 of the Book of Equanimity (従容錄, Shōyōroku)

    Lou Faber

  • CURFEW

    We sat in the cramped kitchenhuddled around the stovethe open oven door spreadinga faint warmth that barelyslid through the winter chill.The bare bulb in the ceilingstrained and flickeredfighting to hold as the generatorswere shut down, and darknessenveloped our small world.The sky was lit by the flaresand the odor of exploding shellsseeped through the towelsealed windows…

    Lou Faber

  • HERE-ISH, NOW-ISH

    In this moment we, the two of us,are here in this precise placeand there are an infinite numberof places we might be.But we want to be here,just here, nowhere else.We are aging, but in this momentwe are exactly the right ageand to be younger or olderwould do nothing for us.When I curl against youas the…

    Lou Faber

  • ETERNAL SPRING

    Spring has arrived, however begrudgingly,and the young woman pushesthe older woman’s wheelchairalong the paths of the great park.Neither speaks, but each knowsthis could be the last time they do this.That shared knowledge paintseach flower in a more vibrant hue,each fallen petal is quicklybut individually mourned for,its beauty draining back into the soil.The older woman struggles…

    Lou Faber

  • ZOOM ZEN

    In the middle of a rouund of zazenI hear the bells of a nearby church,although I am nearby no church. Zen teaches you to be presentin each moment, to be immersedin and not witnessing life around you. The bells break my struggleto not think, they introduce timeagain where there should be none. Just as soon,…

    Lou Faber

  • LURKER

    It is there waiting, no doubtanother trap, simple initially seeming purebut harboring a malevolence that willsoon consume you, leave you broken,so considering the pen as a weapon,to lay waste to it, or for seppuku,both thoughts will no doubt come to mind. It has always been like this, always will,different if you chose the digital path,but…

    Lou Faber

  • THE POEM

    The poem, all too often,suffers from a solitariness thatborders on despair, alonein a world that otherwise offersno peace or quiet contemplaton. The poem does not wish this,it prefers to be the centerof attention in the midstof all that is happeningat any given moment. The poem never expectedto have to struggle so muchfor even the smallest…

    Lou Faber

  • YAKUSAN’S BIRTH OF A CALF

    In the middle of the day you can not see because the sun is too bright and may blind you. At midnight you stumble searching for light for you are blind in the darkness. What is it you struggle so hard to see? A reflection on case 66 of the Shobogenzo (Dogen’s True Dharma Eye)

    Lou Faber

  • BODHI VILLANELLE

    Sitting beneath the Bodhi tree I wrestle with passing thoughts in an unending struggle with me. The true face of the pain I see results from what I have wrought sitting beneath the Bodhi tree. I grow tired, wish to flee– above all, to avoid being caught in an unending struggle with me for a…

    Lou Faber

  • LETTING GO

    Roshi left last week sitting in the garden of the Zen Center, there then not there, as though he let go his 91 year grasp knowing somehow, it was the right moment. He left so quietly those around him did not hear him depart. Half a lifetime ago I sat at his feet, unable to…

    Lou Faber