an old writer and his words

  • GENSHA’S THREE VEHICLES 正法眼蔵 四十語

    Describe this momentwithout use of word or sound –see where you arewith eyes pressed tightly closed,hear a song with utter silence,taste the pure mountain airreach out and touchthat which has no shapeor form, no essenceand you sitin the middleof reality. A reflection on case 45 of Dogen’s Shobogenzo Koans (True Dharma Eye)

    Lou Faber

  • REAL TIME

    Reality is clearly something to be avoidedto be dressed up in tattery, tied in ribbons,perfumed, yet its fetid stenchis always lurking in the backgroundwaiting to pierce your nostrilsin an incautious moment until you retchand bring up the bile that marksthe darker moments of your life,the kind that lingers in the throatwhich no chocolate can erase.Reality…

    Lou Faber

  • STAGED

    At the moment of your birthmy son, I grew suddenly older,mortality became a realitythat I could no longer avoid. You could not imagine this,and I doubt others could seebut I knew and the infinitecollapsed inside the event horizon. Your brother came later, butthat death was incremental,a single cut among thousands,a step on a path you…

    Lou Faber

  • REALITY, OF A SORT

    The single greatest problemwith dreams is that theyare utterly real when youare dreaming, the absurdis not only permittedbut expected, and in thatmoment it is hardly absurd. The dead and living comeand go with impunity,and you welcome themas real people becausefor that period of timethey are as real as you are. But awakening, you realizeit was…

    Lou Faber

  • BLESSED

    Barchu, for the slugs of the Chinese knockoff AK47 which tore through his legs, twisting to avoid the artery and nerves. Barchu, for the moon hanging in the frosted night seeking shelter in the mist cutting into me, lashing me to reality. Barchu, for their memory the small circle of candles that burn eternally in…

    Lou Faber

  • FRIENDS

    We will always be friends, we said,probably half meaning it at the time.How many times have we said thator somthing akin to it, knowingthat the promise to call, to stayin close touch, was at besthalf meant and almost certainnot to come to any reality. I have a catalog of friends, whoI told I would never…

    Lou Faber

  • I’LL BE SEEING YOU

    We live in a zoom world, one we never imagined, and one for which we will never be prepared. But it is our life now, friends and family reduced to pixels, voices disembodied.  They tell us this is the new normal, although what is normal about it is beyond logic and comprehension. We believe deeply…

    Lou Faber

  • FIRST KISS

    You ask me if I rememberwhen we first kissed, and then addand what was it really like for me. I know the answer you expect,and I am reluctant to tell youotherwise, but I have to be honest. It was moments after I left youat your door on our first date,having found my car finallyin the…

    Lou Faber

  • DEFLATED DREAMS

    when did youthful dreamsslip awayerodeget consumed byparentsteachersor simply abandoned reality, yourstheirs a poor substituteall edgesand pointspiercing hope love once (a) givenrendered faint hopeworse, impossible dreamdelusion? you wantto think notwant so muchcan’t havebad for youwe know goodwhen we give itnone for you timepast sogrow up

    Lou Faber

  • ME ME

    Coming soon perhapsbut hard to saychoose carefully a moment whenmeme andavatarmerge and youcease to exist or exist twiceand whichyou isreal is leftto others but that youis immortalnow unlessbeset bya magneticcatastrophe, butyou’ll likelybe ashes andshould notgive a damn.

    Lou Faber