an old writer and his words

  • AND THEN

    My Buddhism teaches me that Ishould be in this moment,present in an infinitesimally smallbit of time, always here, never staying.This morning my back had an issuewith me, and made its displeasure known.Pain fills moments, elongates themand time ever moving appears to slow,to grind along, almost to a halt.Would that pleasure might do the samebut it…

    Lou Faber

  • FORGOTTEN

    In the great cemeteryin a corner reserved for thatostentation only wealth can buyI am struck by one massivemarble walled mausoleum.Who lies within is of noimportance to anyone otherthan the ones who lie within.Small graves in common bulksections are dotted with freshor faded flowers waitingto nourish the soil, or is itthe souls of those who lie…

    Lou Faber

  • DONGSHAN’S ILLNESS

    If you tell your teacherthat you are feeling painduring your practicehe will ask you wherethe pain is.If you point to a partof your body he willturn away but if youpoint to your headhe will tell you thatyou can heal yourself. A reflection on Case 98 of Dogen’s Shobogenzo Koans (True Dharma Eye)

    Lou Faber

  • SLOW DOWN?

    She is four and you realizequickly you have no ideawhat four is like, a personlooking for herself, uncertainwhat she will find and fearlessenough not to care, always curious.You know these days cannot last,that she will progress at a speedthat is dizzying and you don’twant them to end, for memoriesoften age badly, and can slip away.But…

    Lou Faber

  • THE VEIL OF TIME

    I still search for you behind the veilof time; I cannot look away.I wonder what you saw that night,what you felt in that unexpected,unwanted moment you couldn’t escape.I know I am struggling to reach intoa world I do not yet wish to enter,but all I recall are your eyes, notas they were that night but…

    Lou Faber

  • WITH STANDING

    The nurse wanted to knowif I had pain with standing.I thought about this and said“Notwithstanding a silly questionif I say so myself and I do.”“No,” she said smiling, “withstandingyour answer do you or do you not?” ‘I don’t have pain, not with standing.Notwithstanding what shewanted to know so she said,” let’s try this again.Do you…

    Lou Faber

  • SADNESS

    He never stopped to take noticethat his anger had given wayto a deep sadness, onehe felt had him trapped, searchingthrough the pain for an exitfrom a place he never imaginedhe would leave willingly.He had promised her a lifetime,a statement he took as a truthnot considering that her promise,whatever it had been, had becomeviolable, the pain…

    Lou Faber

  • UNSPOKEN

    There is so much that hewould talk about, but dare not say.He knows keeping it withinis a recipe for pain and sufferingbut letting it loose makesthat pain and suffering a certaintyfor others and he is notwilling to do that to anyone.He laughs when he wants so muchto curse language for wordsare all he has and…

    Lou Faber

  • A SIMPLE PROCEDURE

    The needle slips into the armjust above the wrist, it isa bringer of pain, a bringerof relief from pain, it is coldunder the now tepid blanket.The nurse, ever cheerful, saysit is time now, raises the bed railand the anesthetist presses gentlyon the plunger of the hypodermicand the drugs ooze slowly intothe patiently waiting vein.As they…

    Lou Faber

  • STILL

    Someone once told me that painis a good way of knowingthat you are still alive.I did want to kill that person,but thought better of it,why not simply smile andleave him in a life of pain.More recently I was toldthat I would get used tomy chronic pain andover time it would seemto hurt less if I…

    Lou Faber