an old writer and his words

  • FAMILY PLOTTING

    I suppose the only thingmy adoptive parentsnever fought overduring the endless divorcewas who would getto be buried in the family plot.The lawyers disposed of iton their behalf and allthat was left to argue overwas the pittance that remainedonce their fees were collected.My birth parents hadno such problems, the onlytime they were togetherwere the momentssurrounding my…

    Lou Faber

  • SUBSTITUTE

    Language is becoming a poor substitutealthough I have no word for what it isthat it is a poor substitute for at present. I grabbed an organic bananafrom the refrigerator this morningand paused to wonder if there areinorganic bananas somewhere. My New York Times, as usual, offeredAll The News That Is Fit To Printbut I really…

    Lou Faber

  • WAITING IMPATIENTLY

    Waiting rooms are usually somber.That is true of most hospitalsand every mortuary. It isn’t like we needto be prepared for whatmight happen next. In the hospital the surgeon,at the direction of lawyers,has given us the worst case. In the mortuary we are certainthe departed was no saintso resurrection is out of the picture. I’m not…

    Lou Faber

  • NEXT IN LINE

    It was the moment they said, we picked you, that I knew they had not. They thought they had to say it. They knew they shouldn’t. I was the next gumball down the chute. You put in your nickel, move the lever and wait. Actually it wasn’t quite like that. If you don’t like the…

    Lou Faber

  • TUESDAY TRUTH: THE SPRATTS

    I mean, seriously, did anyone really think that the Spratt marriage would ultimately last? Sure, the first couple of years were imagined bliss. And sure, their dietary desires did help them avoid almost all waste. But that big a difference, even if only seemingly in eating habits, foretells differences in other areas of life. He…

    Lou Faber

  • MORTALITY

    Before you wish for immortality carefully consider all the consequences. It’s true you will avoid the fires of hell and the lawyers and politicians who make up a surprising portion of the populace, but you’ll also never pass through the pearly gates, to languish in the esteemed company of poets and musicians who will, at…

    Lou Faber

  • ASKED AND ANSWERED

    She wants to ask me how many lawyers can dance on the head of a pin, but she knows that at their hourly rates, no one will pause to count them.                               There is that, and the fact that lawyers are…

    Lou Faber

  • MORE OR LEX

      She wants to ask me how many lawyers can dance on the head of a pin, but she knows that at their hourly rates no one will pause to count them. There is that and the fact that lawyers are used to calling the tune, not dancing to it. There is that, she says,…

    Lou Faber