• THEY WANT

    They all want to tell mewhich direction I should go, thatno matter which direction I am goingit is not the right direction.They want to tell me what to say,that what I am saying is wrong,although I am wholly silent.They want to tell mewhat to think, what I shouldnot even think, although theycannot know my thoughts.They…


  • FOLLOW THE TRAIL

    To say that I am a wanderer isto vastly overstate the reality.I have wandered quite a bitin my life, but that wanderingwas always predicated on happenstanceand a true wanderer, by definition,wanders with the intent of doing so.I was never looking for anythingmerely a sense of direction, an ideaof how I got to this point, whatforces…


  • WANDERER

    I was too long an Israelite wandering in a desert searchingfor the promised identity, followingon faith and a belief that allwould eventually be revealed.I created images of you, of whoI thought you might be, hiddenfrom all, just a voice in my dreams.I was an Aaron, the loyal siblingnever questioning why I livedin their always slightly…


  • SERVED COLD

    We had better hope that naturedoesn’t adopt that old adagethat revenge is a dish best served cold.Come to think of it, perhaps shehis toying with it now by her actionsgiven the climate changes we have wrought,And us always thinking nature wouldsomehow become subservient to us.But you can only defy the lawsof nature for so long,…


  • SOZAN’S DHARMAKAYA

    When you ask yourself“who am I?”how do you answer.If you lookat yourself in a still pondis that only youthat you seeor do you also seethe pond lookingat you? A reflection on Case 52 of The Book of Equanimity (従容錄, Shōyōroku)


  • NAME IT

    Aunt Tzipporah hated her name,detested it really, came closer to the truth.“What the hell were my parents thinking?”she said, “like being Jewish in West Virginiaisn’t going to be hard enough.On a good day I got away with being Zippy,but you try spending your Junior year in high schoolhearing “Hey Zipper” or having some jerkcome up…


  • MITOCHONDRIAL

    I always imagined it would somehowbe romantic, not in the Hollywood sort of way,but in an idyllic, picturesque manner,even if that denied basic reality.Reality, when it comes to origins discoveredis overrated, for the normal percolation timeis denied, and the impact is suddenwith no restraints to temper the blow.Way back when, you learned by storiestold by…


  • IN SEARCH

    He’d been searching for ever, or so often seemed, for no-self, and he couldn’t fathom why it was so difficult to attain simple absence, nothing must be less than something, after all. He knew, like Sisyphus, he would continue to search until he succeeded, the gods of his soul decreed it and you don’t fuck…


  • SEARCH

    forty-three years I’ve searched for my voice a whisper cracked hoarse one moment fluid another then silent. I shape words which fall off my tongue and lie in puddles on the floor. I step in them slipping regaining perilous toehold. I scream strangled thoughts dreams are forgotten the night laughs, she touches my forehead with…


  • ASHES

    When I die, my friend Larry said one morning in the third inning of a double header of stoop ball, I want to be burned, not that I intend it to happen any time soon, but when it does. They burned my grandfather I think it was Dachau, but unlike him, I want to kick…