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ANCESTRY
It shouldn’t be so easy to forgetwhere your ancestors came from, whythey left their homes, traveled toa new place where they might not be welcomedbut took the chance for a better future or justto avoid the horrors of where they were.It is a part of your DNA, yours werethe” other” then, but yours came and…
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REAR VIEW MIND
I spent too much time lookingbackward, looking into the past,looking into the mirrorto frame a dream historyof my desires and fears.He called one morning, lefta message, “Mother died,more details will follow.”A mother his by birth,mine by legal act.I should have felt stunnedanger, I said quietly to myselfhe’s cocky, has issues, and wentabout momentary mourning.That is…
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ANCESTRY
Children have an innate senseof their ancestry.I was a child of the cityit’s streets my paths, alwaysunder the watchful eyeof my warden – mother. Dirt was to be avoidedat all possible cost,so I never dug my handsinto the fertile soil of myvillage in the heart of Lithuania,or tasted the readying harvestthat dirt would remember. I…
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AMD ODE
You didn’t have to go, you knowI did enjoy having you around,and I am sorely missing you now. They said the odds of youleaving, of even planning a departurewere small, but what did they know. They didn’t know that Ihad traits that would makeyour departure more likely. They didn’t say that oncethe word was uttered,…
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CHRISTMAS
It isn’t my first Christmasalthough almost so, thatpart of me hidden for halfa century, its twisted discoveryfilling a hole that I neverknew existed, yet always knew. This is the strangest Christmas,a time of gathering, nowin isolation, only pixelsand prayers on a too flat screen,and it is hard, in timesof want and suffering, to recallwhy we…
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A LITTLE DRUMMER
It seems less than fair that as a childI was Jewish to the core, adopted, yes,but certainly fully Jewish and not merelyby maternal lineage which would suffice. Christmas was alien to me then, evenwhen I left Judaism behind, a shadowthat would follow me closely intomy Buddhist practice and life. But DNA made a liar of…
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LIAR
It is a strange feeling to discover that youhave been made a liar by your own DNA. For years I was Jewish to the core, halfat least Sephardic, Portuguese, and thatnot merely extracted but fully blooded. My diet at Passover expanded greatly,no longer dictated by Northerners whoeasily banned that which they did not grow. But…
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A TWISTED ROAD
Walking down the helicalroad, untwisting as you goyou discover placesyou never imagingedvisiting, nothinglike the path youthought you knew well. Stop and claimyour new heritage,find yourselfon an alien map,bury yourself in booksof new and ancient history. Pause here and considera King of Scotland,knights and lords,in the far distanceknow that you claima link to a manso honored…
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HISTORY
It was easierhaving no historyof my own, borrowedhistories are easily discarded. After a while, youbegin to think of the adoptedhistory as your own,and no one doubts you. I have a history nowcountries woven into my DNA, always presentbut never before seen. It is mine, I passed italong to my sons, andalthough it grows weakerit is a…
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ON LOSSES
By the way, the headstone is lovely,designed by your niece, it pays tributeto you as aunt, as sister, as friend. I do wish it had said mother as wellbut I know I’m the one secret you thoughtwould fit into a corner of the pine box,buried with you, to be, like you, reclaimedby the rocky soil…
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an old writer and his words 