an old writer and his words

  • READING PAUL MULDOON

    Reading Paul Muldoon this afternoonI thought of you for no reason.It wasn’t your birthday, notthat you celebrate them where you are,nor the anniversary of the day you died.And it certainly was not becauseI was reading about Ireland sinceI never imagined I had Irish blood, andyou never went there, and when I didI didn’t know you…

    Lou Faber

  • FUNERIAL

    There are two types of gravesidefunerals for most people,three in my case, for twiceI have conducted the service wheremy attention was focusedon the prayers I would read.The two other types differ onlyin whether the departedis a close relativeor beloved friend,or someone more distantwhere you attend out of duty.For the beloved your attentionis on the casket…

    Lou Faber

  • MISSED MEETING

    On Saturday it will be21 years since I missedthe last chance to meet my mother.If this seems strange to youimagine how it is for me, how itit is to have your mother dieat 82 and you now 70saying you never got to meet.You’ve guessed correctly that Iam an adoptee, but did you knowI waited so…

    Lou Faber

  • AND NEXT

    “I’m not getting any younger”is, of course, a positively idiotic statementbeating the obvious to deathwith a blunt verbal instrument.But it still beats sayingthat death impends ever closerfor that is simply turgidand odious all at the same time.What I’m here to sayis that by being crematedI’m saving you all mannerof expense, no gravesite, no stone,no maintenance…

    Lou Faber

  • FINAL MOMENT

    You would think that thosewith an abiding faith in an afterlifewould approach the transitionto death without fear, merely a stepinto a promising, promised unknown.And perhaps some do take this approachbut many, it seems, when the abyss opensbefore them and there is no going backexpress the moment of fear, of terror,thoughts reserved to the nonbelievers.Of course…

    Lou Faber

  • THE EASE OF FORGETTING

    I have little memory of the manwho was my first adoptive fatherand none of his funeral, two-year-olds,my mother said, should notknow of death at that age.Nor did I attend my grandmother’s,she the mother of my second adoptive fatherbecause 12-year-old shouldn’thave the memory of funerals,according to my mother.I did attend her mother’s funeral,had to because I…

    Lou Faber

  • MOTHERS’ DAY

    This is the day I am supposedto honor my motherbut I am torn as to which motherI should pay tribute, or is itboth or possibly neither.One carried me, bore meinto life and departed,for my good, for hers andthe grave has sworn her to silence.Is it the woman whoadopted me, I her onlyuntil her new husbandgave…

    Lou Faber

  • DEPARTURE

    She is leaving too soon.We know she is leaving,we know there is nothingthat can be done to changeher departure, only the timeremains uncertain, but nowit is clear it will be soon. It is not right or fair, we know,but that has little to do withwhen one must depart,time and fate are ficklein that way, and…

    Lou Faber

  • AND COUNTING

    The dawn brokethe counting beganeach daya new dawna new count.The resultswere notedwrittenfor posterityout of habitfor no reasonfor no onecared any longer.No onecould remembera day whenthe countwas zerowhen the gunswere for oncetruly silent.

    Lou Faber

  • BASO’S ILLNESS

    If I ask youhow long weboth will live,how will you answer?The answeris simple, buthidden, for we bothwill live untilthe momentwe do not,and there isonly this momentanyway. A reflection on Case 36 of the Book of Equanimity (従容錄, Shōyōroku)

    Lou Faber