PC

You set a record today,
five blue screens,
and finally there was
no rebooting, and even the tech
at her desk in Bangalore
could not figure out
the error message
and politely gave up
promising your replacement
won’t have these problems.
There’s a whole new set
of crashes and lockups
waiting in the box
down at Staples,
she didn’t bother to mention.

BSOD U SOB

The screen, a shade of blue you have come to hate,
stares back at you defiantly.
You expected something like this,
though there is never good reason for it.
You check your calendar and clear
the next two days of all non-critical items.
You adjust the chair carefully, for it
will be your home for countless hours,
and you only wish that you could drink
before 5 PM or invoke the “it’s 5 PM somewhere” rule,
but you know your tolerance is limited,
less so in situations such as this,
so you dig in for the long haul.
You know this won’t be the last time
you will face this problem, only the current one,
and you know in the end it will be fine,
so you suppress your anger and frustration
and prepare to do battle, yet again
with the seeming evil demons of Microsoft.

USER INTERFACE

U:        Cope

I:          How?

U:        Relax

I:          Can’t

U:        Why not?

I:          No time

U:        Make time

I:          Takes too long

U:        Better idea?

I:          None!

U:        Tried?

I:          Can’t

U:        Why not?

I:          No time

U:        What then?

I:          No idea

U:        Can’t help

I:          Why not?

U:        Tried

I:          How?

U:        Suggested

I:          That’s all?

U:        Cope

I:          How?

U:        Relax

I:          Can’t

U:        Why not?

I:          No time

The System has suffered a critical failure and will shut down. All unsaved work will be lost.