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CONSOLATION PRIZE
I do not remember the faceof the nurse who carried meaway from you the daythe door to an alien worldwas thrown open for me.Did either of you look closelyor did I become one moremoved slowly downthe obstetric conveyor.I would have liked somelink to my birth, somethingmore than the naked assurancethat it happened and thatthere was…
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ANNIVERSARY
She reminds me that thisis the anniversaryof my father’s death,and this time I donot pause to wonderwhich one of the threeI have had, but neitherof us knows howmany years it has beensince he died, sinceI got the text frommy once brotherannouncing the death.And neither of usknows where, or if,he is buried.But since my brotherhas told…
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NO FAREWELLS
You’ve been gone something liketwenty-two years now, althoughit doesn’t seem all that long to me.It is like I saw you five years agoand even that seems longer than real.They tell me I was fifty whenyou departed but I can’t clearly recallwhat it was like to be fifty.I know I never said goodbye to youand I…
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ON LEARNING PAINFULLY
I cannot begin to tell youhow glad I am that I neverfollowed through on the ideaof flying to Lisbon and searchingfor you or some record of you.After all, she told the adoptionagency when she gave me upthat you were a Portuguese Jewshe met in Washington, D.C.so the odds were good you couldbe found in the…
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WHEN
When I finally found you,when I finally knelt at your grave,when I finally said hello,when I finally said goodbye,when I finally touched the groundin which you are buriedon the hillside across the riverfrom the city where you were born,a Jewish girl in West Virginianot long removed from Lithuania,when I said my farewell that morningknowing I…
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SO CLOSE AND YET
Some say that we were oncebriefly so close you couldproperly call us one person.I know it did not last, and Igave up looking for youfor the longest time, althoughI always felt the connectionbetween us had never weakened.Years later I did get withineight or so feet of you but younever acknowledged my presenceso I moved on…
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THREADS
They keep arriving in my email,sometimes one or two a day,and then nothing for a week or more.I look at them out of curiosity,because I have learned all I wantedsome time ago and they are like icingon a cake I no longer intend to eat.But they are “family” of sorts, distantalways, remote usually, but I…
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STILL WAITING
Just to let you know, I still look for youeven though I know it is not at alllikely that I will find you wandering about,after all, Florida is quite some distancefrom Beverly, New Jersey and youdon’t get out much these days.Still I look, not certain if you willbe wearing your uniform ofjust civvies, but I…
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THIS IS NOT
This is not the poemmy birth mother meant to writemeant to tuck in my blanketwhen I was handed overto the adoption agencymeant to follow methrough childhood, youth,adulthood, to be readon the day my sons were born.It would be a poemthat would be etcheddeeply into my psychethat would echo in my mindduring the quiet moments.She never…