If you are asked “who are you?”
how will you reply, and who
is the person asking the question?
If you answer, you are blind
if you say nothing you speak loudly.
The sage will tell you
that there is no you and if
you doubt him he will hold up
a mirror and ask what you see.
If you answer “I see myself”
he will laugh because no one
can see themselves unless
they see everyone, for you
are both the reader
and the writer
of these poor words.
It was a dark alley
with no apparent end
and I wasn’t certain
how I came to be here.
Actually I was.
I followed her
into the alley,
followed the promise
of light she made.
I do tend to follow her
not for her beauty
though she can show that
when she chooses,
but because I need
to release the words
pent-up within
and my Muse
demands I do it
for her.
I write
because words must be said
words must be said
because they eat at my tongue
they eat at my tongue
because they recall the flames of the ovens
they recall the flames of the ovens
because they were forced to shower
they were forced to shower
because they were Jews
they were Jews
because they embraced Torah
they embraced Torah
because they walked through the desert
they walked through the desert
because they followed the trail of manna
they followed the trail of manna
because it led to freedom
it led to freedom
because I saw it in a dream
I saw it in a dream
because a voice whispered it to me
a voice whispered it to me
because I write
Sit down and be silent,
you always want to speak
at the worst possible moment,
whispering incessantly in my ear
when I cannot answer you.
When I call on you, you prefer
to avoid me, playing off
in a corner somewhere
sampling the joys of the day
to be forgotten by nightfall
when I seek to converse.
You take great joy in teasing me
dangling pearls and withdrawing
them at my first grasp, playing
hide and go seek while knowing
all the nooks and crannies.
You prosper in the dark
flitting about, and I can only
feel the breeze as you dash by,
and occasionally touch your skirts
as they brush against by leg.
You are the spoiled child,
petulant, pouting for days
when I chastise you, mocking
when I have little to say to you,
frustrating to the point of distraction
and loved nonetheless.
birth
beginning
opening
breach
alienation
estrangement
enmity
malice
malevolence
hatred
repugnance
hostility
conflict
battle
combat
assault
onslaught
aggression
brutality
savageness
atrocity
crime
assault
strike
beat
vanquish
crush
annihilate
destroy
murder
homicide
death
There is one thing a poet hates
more than a page
that refuses to be filled –
it is coming across words
that profess
or are sworn
to silence.
I had a pen
I truly loved
until it announced
early one morning
it was taking
a vow
of iambic celibacy.
Poems once pregnant
with possibility
grew cloistered
and habitual.
As I turned
from Erato’s altar
she called after me,
“Your pen
is out of ink.”
Tell me more about death, I said
put it into words, that’s
your specialty so open your mouth
from amid your black jungle of a beard
now white, I want a noise, a howl.
Why the hell do I hear only silence,
I know it’s the sound
of one hand clapping,
but I demand more than a mere koan
Corso would at least bathe me in gasoline
but you, who wrote to be immortal
so why, now, only old words?
So I can complete the circle?
But they hit the floor like
so may peanut shells
washed by the spilt beer.
Come on, say something
even a simple kaddish
for your silence is killing me.
