• I WANT TO BELIEVE

    I want to believethat I am a man of words,to think you would agree,for words inundate my world. In my home I live among wordssome mine, mostly those of others. They follow me like a shadowat noon, the sunalways on my face. I want to know what theywant from me but theydo not answer or…


  • TO BE OR NOT TO BE

    The spider sits on the transomover the front door waiting, tryingto decide if it dares attempt entry.Others of its kind have, neverto return or to do so crippledand it knows a five or six-leggedarachnid would not be longfor the world it is trying to escape.I doubt it knows the risksthat lie within, a cat who…


  • FAMILY PLOTTING

    I suppose the only thingmy adoptive parentsnever fought overduring the endless divorcewas who would getto be buried in the family plot.The lawyers disposed of iton their behalf and allthat was left to argue overwas the pittance that remainedonce their fees were collected.My birth parents hadno such problems, the onlytime they were togetherwere the momentssurrounding my…


  • ELAINE

    It’s 12 degreesthe night airslices throughmy sweatermy teeth chatter.Standing in the lotfetching my cell phonefrom the glove boxmy breath congealsaround my facea cloud.I look upat the moonsnowflakes dancingon my forehead.Luna’s faceis shroudedby a cirrus veil,but her eyesare yoursher lips softcaressingcurl upwardsin a smileas yours.I tell herof my loveand she whispersher lovereflectivelyin the voiceI hearas I…


  • PROTECT AND DEFEND

    Today they sent me an email telling me that I need to change my password. They do this periodically, a reminder not to let others know my password. They suggest that I not keep it in a place where others might find it, that I should keep it hidden away, and they have a solution…


  • MEMORIAL PRAYER

    We are rapidly approachingthe forty-ninth day since youdied early that morning.We knew you would be dying,you told us so, told usnot to worry, it was your time.Still each day we recitethe memorial verses, hopeothers in the sanghado as well, hope that yourtransition out of this lifehas been made, in somesmall measure, easierby our daily recitation.We…


  • YUNJU’S “PLACE THAT CANNOT BE CONTAINED”

    Ask yourself whoyou were beforeyou were born?You will saythere was no you.And yet when youare fully in the momentthere is no you.Are you unborn? A reflection on Case 94 of Dogen’s Shobogenzo Koans (True Dharma Eye)


  • ANNIVERSARY

    She reminds me that thisis the anniversaryof my father’s death,and this time I donot pause to wonderwhich one of the threeI have had, but neitherof us knows howmany years it has beensince he died, sinceI got the text frommy once brotherannouncing the death.And neither of usknows where, or if,he is buried.But since my brotherhas told…


  • CELESTIAL AWE

    He says that there isa really good chance thatso much of astronomyis delusion, that allof astronomy is history.Go out in the countrywhere there are nostreetlights and lookat the sky and the multitudeof stars that you see.There are atlases listingthe name or numberof each of them butstop and realize howmany of them nowno longer exist as…


  • DID YOU?

    Sitting on the chairin the photographer’s studiodid you ever pause to wonderthat day, the snow fallingoutside the papered-over windowskeeping the light whollywithin his control,how many lonely menmight keep your picture, youtheir imagined once loverwho left, who died, whogrew apart over time,on their mantle, coffeetable, nightstand, dresser.Did you even know youwould be framed countless timesin several…