• ILL SUITED

    My father wanted to takeme to buy my first suit, saidhe knew a tailor who couldfashion one perfect formy pending Bar Mitzvah,a nice wool blend, he said. Mother about threw a fit.“Take him to the departmentstore or even Goodwill,for God’s sake, he’s onlygoing to wear it once.” My father had learnedthat some battles are bestleft…


  • Nansen’s Reason Is Not the Way 無門關 三十四 

    If you see the Buddhayou have certainly gone blind,if you hear his wordsyou demonstrate your deafness. Nansen will grow old,hearing and vision will fadeand he will sit and shoutin a sun warmed rain. A reflection on Case 34 of the Mumonkan (Gateless Gate) Koans


  • SLICED CLICHE

    He is fond of saying that heis the best thing since sliced bread. There is so much wrongwith that statement, evenignoring that he is the onewho keeps repeating it. If he were that great,and no one is rushing to suggestthat he has even approached it,wouldn’t he want to be justas great as sliced bread? And…


  • CHRISTMAS

    It isn’t my first Christmasalthough almost so, thatpart of me hidden for halfa century, its twisted discoveryfilling a hole that I neverknew existed, yet always knew. This is the strangest Christmas,a time of gathering, nowin isolation, only pixelsand prayers on a too flat screen,and it is hard, in timesof want and suffering, to recallwhy we…


  • THE TIE’S LAMENT

    I still have the tieI wore to m grandmother’sfuneral, one I conducted,but the suit from that dayis long gone, and just as well,for it would be several sizestoo large for the present me. I’ve only worn the tie oncesince that rainy day in Marylandand then to a weddingto balance out the sadnesswith a bit of…


  • THE LETTER

    Today I should receive the letterthat I sent to myself twenty years ago,telling me what I should be, where Ishould be, who I should be, for the meof twenty years ago was, by his ownadmission, far smarter than I am, althoughI am here and he is nowhere to be found. If the letter does not…


  • FOR A MOMENT

    The cat takes her time,carefully considers on which sideshe will flop down so that Ican rub her stomach. She says she allows meto do this so I feel that Ihave some role to playin her life, validation she says. She will kick me withher hind legs when weare done, “call you againin an hour” she…


  • ARISING

    It is far too early to think about that,although many would sayit is already far too late. That is the conundrumin which we find ourselves,defining our options, drawingpolitical lines that arenot dare crossed unless youaccept there can be no return. And those who say it’stoo early, it can wait, must hopethat they can emulatethe Phoenix…


  • Tozan’s Sixty Blows 無門關 十語

    When you arriveonly questions, eacha finely honed blade. Will you parry and danceavoiding the wounding tipand perhaps taste the sword or risk all and counter-thrust, attack fromten directionsand willingly receivesixty blows from the stickstanding in one place. A reflection on Case 15 of the Mumonkan (Gateless Gate) Koans


  • OF DREAMS

    I am now of an agewhere I can no longer rememberwhat terrors gripped my sonsin their dreams, causing themto appear beneath our blankets,I relegated to the bed’s edge. Perhaps there were noneand I was destined to bean edge sleeper, the boystaking advantage as a jokeplayed out night after night. I know what dreams nowcan rip…