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CHRISTMAS
It isn’t my first Christmasalthough almost so, thatpart of me hidden for halfa century, its twisted discoveryfilling a hole that I neverknew existed, yet always knew. This is the strangest Christmas,a time of gathering, nowin isolation, only pixelsand prayers on a too flat screen,and it is hard, in timesof want and suffering, to recallwhy we…
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FOR A MOMENT
The cat takes her time,carefully considers on which sideshe will flop down so that Ican rub her stomach. She says she allows meto do this so I feel that Ihave some role to playin her life, validation she says. She will kick me withher hind legs when weare done, “call you againin an hour” she…
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ARISING
It is far too early to think about that,although many would sayit is already far too late. That is the conundrumin which we find ourselves,defining our options, drawingpolitical lines that arenot dare crossed unless youaccept there can be no return. And those who say it’stoo early, it can wait, must hopethat they can emulatethe Phoenix…
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Tozan’s Sixty Blows 無門關 十語
When you arriveonly questions, eacha finely honed blade. Will you parry and danceavoiding the wounding tipand perhaps taste the sword or risk all and counter-thrust, attack fromten directionsand willingly receivesixty blows from the stickstanding in one place. A reflection on Case 15 of the Mumonkan (Gateless Gate) Koans
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OF DREAMS
I am now of an agewhere I can no longer rememberwhat terrors gripped my sonsin their dreams, causing themto appear beneath our blankets,I relegated to the bed’s edge. Perhaps there were noneand I was destined to bean edge sleeper, the boystaking advantage as a jokeplayed out night after night. I know what dreams nowcan rip…
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FAMILY
You ask me to define what family isand I tell you that I may bethe last person you wantanswering that question, Ian adoptee who felt likean orphan supplantedby siblings who knew her womb. But I do have an answer,family is that insane personwho will drive six hoursto spend an hour with you,family is the joy…
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GREAT DANGER
There are those who saythat we are engagedin a culture war, and thatmay be an apt description,even as it misses its mark. It is hardly cultures thatare at war, but those whotake shelter under theirfalse mantle, armoredin labels, shielded by cliches. But the weapons of the warare quite real, knownfor ages, Stalin and Alexiecalling them…
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UNMOVED
In the community parking lotin the center of Taos,and old pickup sat complacentmore than parked, rustingin spots, last paintedby someone in the late ‘70sperhaps. It might havebeen able to move, but itshowed no desire to do so,tires not flat but wishing so. That was thirteen years ago,and it is likely no longerthere, or collapsed into…
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IT WILL BE EASY
It will be easy, he says, you justfish a wire down inside the wall,find the hole you cut, put inthe box and wire it up,no big deal at all, easy really. She grimaced immediately,then turned away from him to sigh,for she knew that any time a mandecided something was easy,no big deal, a day or…
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Tokusan Holds His Bowls 無門關 十三 
Tokusan carries bowlsas though expecting a meal.He is asked, “haveyou been called, forI have rung no bell.” He returns to his roomin silent response. You may say he retreatedin defeat, be he will havethe final answer. A reflection on Case 13 of the Mumonkan (Gateless Gate) Koans
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