an old writer and his words

  • FAREWELL

    Is there any good way to remotelyannounce an unexpected death?When our mother died, her son (mystatus as a son then in flux althoughI wouldn’t discover that until later)opted for an early morning phone call,cursory, the time, the cause, its suddenness,and then assigned me to write and pay for the obituary,which he finally approved eight drafts…

    Lou Faber

  • LOOKING IN

    You are standing on the edgepeering in, wondering ifit is always this way, alwaysundulating between sheer joyand frustration, swept upin the calm and maelstromthat is a large family, wishingyou had that family for yours.There is always great love,and you can sense that, butthere is a tension, a frictionof personalities rubbing againsteach other, building a heatthat…

    Lou Faber

  • NEXT STOP

    It is small, dark and desolate,tucked away in a cornerthat no one wants to visit.They all stop there, as required,but only rarely does anyoneget off and it always seemsa sudden, reluctant decision.Most don’t even peer out the windowswhen it stops there, they averttheir gaze wondering if anyonewill rise to leave, not wantingto be seen looking,…

    Lou Faber

  • SPRING RAIN

    The last flowers rain downfrom the cherry trees, a pervasivesadness announcing summer’s approach.We would welcome it, but wefear its possible wrath for allseasons show their anger to us.as if to cast blame on us for ignoringtheir beauty, their bounty, assumingtheir offerings will recur despiteour misbegotten changes to whatthey have always relied on, our arroganceand greed…

    Lou Faber

  • WATCHING

    Under the ever watchful eyeof the Red-shouldered Hawkthe Great Blue Heron foragesfor sticks for its slowlygrowing nest which ithas carefully nestled inthe heart of the small wetland.The hawk, his own nestnow complete stands sentrywarning me, my camerato keep our distance for thisis his territory and onlythose of fellow wingare allowed to enter intoits privileged realm.Soon…

    Lou Faber

  • YUNYAN SWEEPS THE GROUND

    If your teacherapproaches you asyou are sitting zazenand asks if youare working hard,how do you answer?If you say yes he willchide you for zazenis not work, butif you say no, hewill tell youto work much harderat your practice. A reflection on Case 83 of Dogen’s Shobogenzo Koans (True Dharma Eye) 正法眼蔵

    Lou Faber

  • TO BE

    He had wondered what it would be liketo be a Buddha, I mean, he thought, doBuddhas know they are Buddhas ordoes someone have to tell them, andif so, how does that person knowthat this person must be a Buddha?He wasn’t sure he wanted to becomea Buddha since no one could explainwhat possible benefit there would…

    Lou Faber

  • THREE TANKA

    As the sun riseseach morning the Great Egretslift into the skyas we stand fixed to the ground.We now can feel their pity. Little Blue Heronsstare into the clouded skyknowing that the sunwill soon reappear and stealaway with the morning chill In Todai-jisika deer await the bellthat signals the endof morning zazen and startlooking for tourist…

    Lou Faber

  • WHO WILL VISIT

    Who will visit this daythe inn that is your psyche, whowill extend their stay, whowill check out early perhaps,and who will arrive expectedor just hoping for a place to stayhowever briefly or long as you allow?As the proprietor you can turn away those you don’t wishto entertain even for a day, angerand his kin can…

    Lou Faber

  • SEEING YOU AGAIN

    I saw you again yesterday, as I haveso often recently and once again thoughtof approaching you for there is muchI would like to know about you and howwe ended up in the same place.But once again I sensed that youwanted solitude, wanted notto be disturbed, not to be questioned.You did smile briefly, a momentarysoftening of…

    Lou Faber