an old writer and his words

  • Tozan’s Sixty Blows 無門關 十語

    When you arriveonly questions, eacha finely honed blade. Will you parry and danceavoiding the wounding tipand perhaps taste the sword or risk all and counter-thrust, attack fromten directionsand willingly receivesixty blows from the stickstanding in one place. A reflection on Case 15 of the Mumonkan (Gateless Gate) Koans

    Lou Faber

  • OF DREAMS

    I am now of an agewhere I can no longer rememberwhat terrors gripped my sonsin their dreams, causing themto appear beneath our blankets,I relegated to the bed’s edge. Perhaps there were noneand I was destined to bean edge sleeper, the boystaking advantage as a jokeplayed out night after night. I know what dreams nowcan rip…

    Lou Faber

  • FAMILY

    You ask me to define what family isand I tell you that I may bethe last person you wantanswering that question, Ian adoptee who felt likean orphan supplantedby siblings who knew her womb. But I do have an answer,family is that insane personwho will drive six hoursto spend an hour with you,family is the joy…

    Lou Faber

  • GREAT DANGER

    There are those who saythat we are engagedin a culture war, and thatmay be an apt description,even as it misses its mark. It is hardly cultures thatare at war, but those whotake shelter under theirfalse mantle, armoredin labels, shielded by cliches. But the weapons of the warare quite real, knownfor ages, Stalin and Alexiecalling them…

    Lou Faber

  • SUDDENLY MORTAL

    I now struggle to remember just whenmy childhood suddenly ended, whenI became mortal, and the childhood fearswere replaced by those of the real world. It might have been watching the news,the planes at Dover disgorging coffinafter coffin, each neatly flag draped untilthe flag became a symbol only of death. It might have been the first…

    Lou Faber

  • UNMOVED

    In the community parking lotin the center of Taos,and old pickup sat complacentmore than parked, rustingin spots, last paintedby someone in the late ‘70sperhaps. It might havebeen able to move, but itshowed no desire to do so,tires not flat but wishing so. That was thirteen years ago,and it is likely no longerthere, or collapsed into…

    Lou Faber

  • IT WILL BE EASY

    It will be easy, he says, you justfish a wire down inside the wall,find the hole you cut, put inthe box and wire it up,no big deal at all, easy really. She grimaced immediately,then turned away from him to sigh,for she knew that any time a mandecided something was easy,no big deal, a day or…

    Lou Faber

  • Tokusan Holds His Bowls 無門關 十三 

    Tokusan carries bowlsas though expecting a meal.He is asked, “haveyou been called, forI have rung no bell.” He returns to his roomin silent response. You may say he retreatedin defeat, be he will havethe final answer. A reflection on Case 13 of the Mumonkan (Gateless Gate) Koans

    Lou Faber

  • WHEREVER I LAY MY HEAD

    You say that you are uncertainif this place yet feels like home,and look at me silentlyquestioning how I feel. I answer as silently thatyou are here, I am hereso it does feel like homejust as everywhere wouldwhen we are together there. Without speaking you remindme that even I would admita hotel room is not home…

    Lou Faber

  • SLIPPING

    It is slipping away. I should be in a panic, but I just cannot see what good that would do. So I’ll be monocular in a binocular world, and always have the excuse that I just didn’t see it, and you can’t argue with that, because  my hearing isn’t nearly what it used to be

    Lou Faber