an old writer and his words

  • LAYMAN PANGYUN’S STRINGLESS LUTE

    If you ask your teacherto look in the directionof the path to enlightenmenthe will look downat his feet.If you ask him howfar down the pathyou must go, he willlook up without moving. A reflection on Case 99 of the Shobogenzo Koans 正法眼蔵 (True Dharma Eye)

    Lou Faber

  • UNSCRIPTED

    I am so tired of readinglines written for me by othersalways a cold readinglacking emotion and substance.I have my own voice, readyto deliver my soliloquy.I have been livingfor seven decades.But I know that Iwill be seen as yetanother Yorickushered off the stage.And I imaging myselfremembered by someone youngerwho will recall no morethan a passing memory.

    Lou Faber

  • THIS IS NOT: AN APOLOGY

    This is an apology I never wantedor thought I would have to write butnow, my grandchildren, it is necessary. This is not the world I wantedto leave to you, what I had hopedwas a world at peace, a world whereyou could be anything without beingjudged or shunned, where wordshad meaning and books were treasures. Instead…

    Lou Faber

  • GOOD?

    She used to ask me if I had a good day.It was a loaded question for there wasno good answer in her view, it was reallyjust rhetorical, something you saidto avoid talking about your ownfeelings and emotions at any given moment.She expected me to complain about allthat did not go as planned, whereuponshe could roll…

    Lou Faber

  • DONGSHAN’S ILLNESS

    If you tell your teacherthat you are feeling painduring your practicehe will ask you wherethe pain is.If you point to a partof your body he willturn away but if youpoint to your headhe will tell you thatyou can heal yourself. A reflection on Case 98 of Dogen’s Shobogenzo Koans (True Dharma Eye)

    Lou Faber

  • SEPARATING

    We sometimes speak of continentspulling apart, land bridges severed,the route taken to get here now gone,no going back, no back to go to.The continent of my youth, myyoung adulthood is gone, recededinto the fog of fading memory, and Iam now a prisoner of sorts on thisnew continent of life, moving evermore quickly to an unavoidable…

    Lou Faber

  • SHUSHAN AND THE STONE WORKERS

    If, in searchingfor enlightenment youcome across a masterand you ask him in whichof the four cardinal directionsyou should seek your goalhe will tell you to looknorth, east, southand west at once.If you say you cannothe will tell you to lookin all four direction whichyou can do from whereyou are then standing. A reflection on Case…

    Lou Faber

  • CABERNET

    Sitting at the table lookingat a glass of cabernet sauvignonits legs long reaching from rimto dwindling pool I ask myselfif I could imagine tending the vinesin France or more likely Napawatching the purple orbs take formand cluster, caring for the canesthat have deemed themselvestoo old to bear any longer.My knees are tired and dirtycutting the…

    Lou Faber

  • BEAUTY

    The rose no more knowsits own beautythan the chrysanthemumdoes its scent.The birds will carry the seeds,the bees will pollinate the flowersbut it is left to usto recognize the abject beautynature willingly unfoldsbefore us, it is ourEden, small momentsof perfection which weso often ignore, which weunthinkingly lay waste to,and we who must learnto mourn what we…

    Lou Faber

  • CHANGES

    Each morning after arisingI look in the mirrorI imagine everything is the same as the day beforeI imagine everything has changedf rom the day before.I do ask the mirror what itbelieves has changed, what itbelieves has stayed the same.Most days it says nothing, merelystares back at me, mocking.Occasionally the mirror will concedethat it is another…

    Lou Faber