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AND EVERYWHERE
Where was my family from?Russia and Poland, mostlyby way of England and Austria,within nervous stop at Ellis Islandjust before the great warchanged everything for all time.Actually not. Not mostly Polandor Russia, the war not a changeof anything really, at mosta precursor of a greater war.You, too, questioner, may be dead nowspeaking from a plot in…
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FUKETSU’S SPECK OF DUST
Sitting on the cushionwhen you think,there is only this thoughtand the next thought,and the cushionhas no purpose.When there isno thought, there isonly this momentand the cushionis the entire world. A reflection on Case 34 of the Book of Equanimity (従容錄, Shōyōroku)
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THE SON SETS
My adoptive mother said:I chose you from all the others.My adoptive mother meant:when the wheel of fortunestop spinning the arrowpointed you and that was that. My “brother,” biological sonof my adoptive parents said:we have always thought of youjust like a brother.My “brother” meant:we were stuck with youthough you weren’t even half to us. When my…
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THE SKY DEMANDS
He stopped his walk along the country roadand stared up at the moonless sky.He knew he shouldn’t be doing so, just ashe knew we had no choice but to do so.The stars this far from the city were sodifferent than the city stars, somuch brighter, so much hotter, he saidto no one, infinitely hotter out…
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OUT OF HIDING
The hidden joy of youth, and itsinevitable disappointment, isin finding that special person.Each time it is the birth of true love,eventually, save in rare circumstances,it is the death of an illusionand the aching pain accompanying the loss. The certainty of youthful emotionis a bondage that is most often inescapable,and there is no desire to leave…
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SANSHO’S GOLDEN CARP
When you sitbefore your teacherif you ask him a questionhe will return only silence.If you listento his silence closelythe dharmawill be revealed to you.A large stonethat rolls easilymay not be lifted. A reflection on Case 33 of the Book of Equanimity (従容錄, Shōyōroku)
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CHARLESTON, WV
Half of me, according to the twistedstrands of deoxyribonucleic acid,has its roots in Liskovo, which would bea simple matter were there not townsby that name in Poland and Belarus,and none in Lithuania, the language of my genes. All of this is preparatory to my visitnext week to the city where my mother,grandparents and great grandparentsare…
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UNUSUAL
I recall it wasn’t as cold as usualthat early November evening, Iwas standing nervously on the small deckin front of the Indian restaurant.This was going to be my fourthfirst date of my lifetime, notsurprising in the abstract, unlessyou realize that put me on an averageof one every twelve years.Fast forward almost three yearsand I am…
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FORGIVE ME
There is always a certain levelof guilt when the Amazonpackage arrives, as they didalmost daily, since Imostly avoided storesduring the pandemic.My guilt arises at the sightof the face of the driverrushing to leave the package,leaping back on the truck,knowing he is graded onthe speed at which hecompletes the far too long run,relieving himself in a…
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A CITY OUT THERE
Somewhere out therein a city strugglingthere is a man dancingin the reflected lightof a street lampto the sound of the wind,there is a couplecaressing each other,wishing for just onecigarette,there is a babycalling for its motherfor a meal,there is a carparked in a drivewayits lights fadinginto the bleakness,there is a neon signflashing OPENinto the void of…
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an old writer and his words 