an old writer and his words

  • SPLIT

    Setting apart, that is our skill:bifurcating, creating dualities.Is it that unity scares us, certaintyunavoidable, no room to escape,to deny, to invoke missing nuance?One of my religious heritagessays you remove head coveringson entering a sanctuary, the otherthat you put one on upon doing so.One says you are born a sinnerthe other says until a certain ageyou…

    Lou Faber

  • HOW COULD YOU?

    How could you turn your backon Judaism, he asked, as thoughit was a shadow I was trying to outrun.I do not tell him that if his Godwants me to take it up againGod needs only ask me personally,but far too many claim who to be his messengerhave led me to the place I find myself.I…

    Lou Faber

  • EASTER

    Tomorrow is Easter Sunday and Iam certain that neither of my mothers,one who had me, one who adopted me,will rise from their respective graves,with Jesus, all three Jewish.But resurrection is not a taskgiven over to women, the Bible says,with its always careful division of labor.And I will stop and think of the Judasin my life,…

    Lou Faber

  • WITHOUT EXCEPTION

    The Jewish sages teach us thatwhoever saves one lifeit is as if he saves the world.Try though I might to find it,I cannot locate the exceptionfor those unfortunate enoughto live among others whocommit unspeakable acts,but surely there must be an exception.How else do you explain whytens of thousands of worldswere not saved in Gaza, why…

    Lou Faber

  • FATHERING

    There is a certain cruelty in knowingwhere my birth father is buried, a pictureof his headstone in the National Cemetery,his face as I know it cropped from a group photoof his unit while stationed in New Hampshire.The cruelty is not in that fact, or that I havea picture of the grave of my first adoptivefather…

    Lou Faber

  • ON LEARNING PAINFULLY

    I cannot begin to tell youhow glad I am that I neverfollowed through on the ideaof flying to Lisbon and searchingfor you or some record of you.After all, she told the adoptionagency when she gave me upthat you were a Portuguese Jewshe met in Washington, D.C.so the odds were good you couldbe found in the…

    Lou Faber

  • WHEN

    When I finally found you,when I finally knelt at your grave,when I finally said hello,when I finally said goodbye,when I finally touched the groundin which you are buriedon the hillside across the riverfrom the city where you were born,a Jewish girl in West Virginianot long removed from Lithuania,when I said my farewell that morningknowing I…

    Lou Faber

  • APP-LICATION DENIED

    I can still recall my grandmother saying,whenever she thought I should be outsiderather than sitting in my room with a book,that “idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Jewsdid not believe in the devil and that,in any event my hands were engagedin holding the book and turning pages.I…

    Lou Faber

  • LINGER

    Sitting in the mall strip plaza coffee shopworking my way slowly through a nonfat cortadoI stared at the everything bagel lyingforlornly on the saucer, its thin coatof peanut butter wishing, as I did, that itwas a spread of cream cheese, all of thisa portent of a difficult day to follow, as ifpunishment for a former…

    Lou Faber

  • PINNING HOPES

    As a child I always avoidedpins, and not becauseI feared at all getting stuck,that could be a small badgeof courage, no my fearwas what might be onthe head of that pin or this.It was more elementalthan that, it raised an almostexistential issue that I wasnot yet prepared to deal with.But I had it on good…

    Lou Faber