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A PERFECT STILLNESS
You lie there, perfectly still,the morning breeze slides awayleaving the sun to stare down,and the birds fall into silence. I gently touch the stone, feelyour cheek beneath my finger,see your face, the college yearbookphoto all that I have of you. I speak silently to you, tellingof my sixty-seven years, of yourgrandsons and great grandchildrenand I…
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CHRISTMAS
It isn’t my first Christmasalthough almost so, thatpart of me hidden for halfa century, its twisted discoveryfilling a hole that I neverknew existed, yet always knew. This is the strangest Christmas,a time of gathering, nowin isolation, only pixelsand prayers on a too flat screen,and it is hard, in timesof want and suffering, to recallwhy we…
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FAMILY
You ask me to define what family isand I tell you that I may bethe last person you wantanswering that question, Ian adoptee who felt likean orphan supplantedby siblings who knew her womb. But I do have an answer,family is that insane personwho will drive six hoursto spend an hour with you,family is the joy…
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SUDDENLY MORTAL
I now struggle to remember just whenmy childhood suddenly ended, whenI became mortal, and the childhood fearswere replaced by those of the real world. It might have been watching the news,the planes at Dover disgorging coffinafter coffin, each neatly flag draped untilthe flag became a symbol only of death. It might have been the first…
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ON THE MANTLE
Perhaps it is just that Ido not have a mantle on whichto place the cherished artifactsof my life, my parentsand grandparents photos,a family Tanach, the tallismy first adoptive father woreto his Bar Mitzvah. I have nothing, which this dayseems sadly appropriate,for their history really isnot mine, never was, Isimply borrowed it for a timebut all…
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SONNET TO A PORTUGUESE
You came into my life last week, your nameforever locked away inside her mind.My life, she felt, would never be the sameand therefore left all thought of you behind.You loved her, I suppose, that summer nightthen left her, bearing me, until she turnedme over for adoption, that she mightforget the love that you so quickly…
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CHURCHES
I have already visitedcountless churches basilicas, shrinesand admired the art, the simple beauty,free of liturgy and belief. I did not stopto pray, to implead, merely to see,to listen, to absorb. for I was a Jew.a nonbeliever in a Christian worldsilently tolerated. Now, I have learnedI was only half Jewish, half, hidden a polyglotof Christianity, a…
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BLACK HOLE
The universe is populatedby an as yet unknownnumber of black holes,points of hyper-density whose gravityis so great thatanything gettingtoo close cannever escape,or so we wereoriginally told. Hawking suggestedthere is hopefor escape, someenergy closeto the eventhorizon mayradiate backinto the universe. In the blackhole that wasmy family,I, luckily, provedto be thatescaping energy.
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ADOPTION
Without choice, I, evicted from the wombNot cast aside, despite what I would see,Too soon carried into an unknown room and gladly taken up, offsetting gloom,and soon another child, I becoming we.Without choice, I evicted from the womb was there to watch him fall into his tomb,leaving her with grief weighing heavily.Too soon carried into…
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NEVER, STILL
I know what you did not tell them,that much I could learn for myself,but what did you tell them? I knowyou were full figured, I think thatis the acceptable term, once it wasReubenesque, but someonemust have noticed something. Maybe those at work, sitting at theirterminals didn’t notice, you cameand went, few friendships perhaps,but you were…
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an old writer and his words 